To those new to these articles, I’m not going to go into an in-depth explanation as to what they are about. But suffice to say, I just talk about stuff that comes into my head.
Some of it is relevant to triathlon, some of it is just for interest, some of it is humorous and entertaining (hopefully), and some of it will be about the things in life that give me the…. that annoy me!
It is possible some of the previous articles can be sourced in the TA archives, but you’ll have to ask other people about this. I think this is the 8th but I’m not sure and don’t really care!
Previously I’ve written about such things as…. Ants (which are amazing and bloody fast – remember “body lengths per second” -“bls)” , particularly the Saharan Silver ant … which can run @100 bls…astonishing…a cheetah goes at 16 bls, and Usain Bolt @ 6 bls!! There is a mite that goes at 322 bls but I’m not interested mites, I mean you know…I might do this, or I might do that…
BTW I was reminded that the “body lengths per second” thing, and how it compares to “speed”, is like comparing power or “Watts”, to “Watts per kilo”! See how relevant this stuff is!
Also how do fish know what they look like? How do they know the school they are swimming in, is the same as them? It’s like wearing the same kit on a ride…Relevant again!�� And many other topics along these lines!
I’ve also given training tips and advice; I’ve asked lots of questions (and got very few answers – which I find very upsetting), given numerous quotes from songs (that no one ever guesses), and promised to one day talk about bees, as they are my favourite) 🙂
Before I go any further a couple of questions!
If you’re running on a track and it’s wet, how is it that you collect dirt/sand on the back of your calf? How does it get there?
Also why is your skin more sensitive to ‘Chlorine’, in winter? I have had some answers to these ponderances, but I’m hard to convince!
I actually started writing this one (G Files) during one of our 274 lock downs when I was pondering what I could talk about this time, and the answer was obvious! I needed to move up the evolutionary scale to….
Chickens!
I might also talk about, viruses, or oval chain rings, or FTP, or Categorised climbs. But chickens first!
For a start, the name, “Chicken”!
To be born into this world as a “chicken”, is a bad start, and it’s pretty well downhill from there! (Unlike bees but I’ll get to them)
Chickens can be traced back to the Therapods (a group of Saurischian dinosaurs), and the first chicken joke was in 1847! (apparently)
Now I’m betting the joke was, “why did the chicken cross the road?”
We have never really got the answer to this and that’s probably because whenever it tried to cross the road, it didn’t make it! So maybe the answer really is, “to get to the other side”, the ultimate goal of the species, chicken!
By the way my repertoire of chicken jokes is quite poultry, and most of them are pretty fowl anyway! ��
“Centuries are what it meant to me, a cemetery where I marry the sea
Stranger things could never change my mind …..”
Which brings me on to Chain rings, or more specifically “Oval chain rings”. The chain rings are of course, the front set of cogs on the bike. The bigger one is usually called, “the big ring”, surprisingly, and the smaller one, “the small ring”! Cycling is a very imaginative sport! They are usually round, but you’ll sometimes see “Oval” shaped chainrings advertised! The argument is they provide more efficiency by making the chainring bigger in the power phase of the pedal stroke, and smaller in the weaker phase!
To summarise my findings here:
The evidence supporting this is mostly industry biased, but mechanical models (not practical testing) show the more pronounced the ovality, the better the effect. But this would be to the point of them not being practical for general use anyway! In other words, for them to give some mechanical advantage the “ovalness” has to be so pronounced it would be impractical to ride! It’s a bit like tyre pressure but I don’t want to upset any Norwegians here but let’s say you have two wheelbarrows full of bricks…..one has 20psi in its tyre and the other 100psi. Which one would you rather try and push? I feel some Scandinavian backlash coming already..
Norway is Scandinavian isn’t it ….uh oh ��
So anyway, back to the oval rings …….
- No real evidence supports them
- Some power meters give a false (higher) reading with them – true
- You’re more likely to drop your chain – true
- And therefore more likely to get your pants caught in them – 100% true
- So you’ll need to wear long socks to tuck your pants in – I always do
OR …. You could just learn how to pedal properly! Perish the thought! So, here’s a tip: When you are hearing about things like oval chain rings, or any new “groundbreaking” advance…….question it! Mostly the ones telling you how great they are, are the
ones selling them!
“You work me so hard that my back’s near broke
My brow is wet and my throats a choke”
Ok so I’ve got a real “link” here this time ….. (oh I’m very proud of that one!!). What are categorised climbs? What are the TDF and Giro and all cycling commentators talking about when they say, “today’s stage has two Category 3 climbs, and a Category 1 climb to the
finish!” (Do I need to say that TDF is The Tour de France (notice the ‘de” has no capital like the word training) and the “Giro” is the Giro D’Italia! Both these grand tours go for three weeks and if you get a chance watch the highlights of each stage! It’s very instructive! Pedal stroke, cadence, hill climbing, time trialing, body position… it’s all there on show by the best in the world!) (Notice I said
“world” not “planet” this is something that also annoys me) (surprisingly)!
Basically, a climb is categorised according to its difficulty. A Category 4 climb is easier than a Cat 3, which is easier than a Cat 2. Then there’s Cat 1, and Hors Category (HC – uncategorised), which is the hardest. So, to categorise a climb many things have to be taken into account: The steepness (or % gradient), steeper pitches during the climb, its length, road surface, altitude, location in the stage or race, all have a bearing on the category.
Some broad examples are as follows:
Cat 4
- 2km @ 6%
- 4km @ 4% or less
Cat 3
- 2-3km @ 8% (or less with some steeper bits)
- 2-4km @ 6%
- 4-6km @ 4%
Cat 2
- 5-10km @ 5-7%
- 10km + @ 3-5%
Cat 1
- 5-10km @ > 8%
- 10-15km @ 6%
HC
- Can be a Cat 1 climb but at the end of a stage
- Anything harder
So Mt Baw Baw is 6km from the gatehouse to the summit at an average of 11.3%, and therefore is categorised HC. The Baw Baw classic is a race which finishes at the top of Baw Baw, it is roughly 100km plus the Baw Baw climb to the finish. At about halfway there is a climb called Vespers which is 4km @ 8%, and therefore Cat 1! There is very little in the way of flat road through the whole race. I have done this race 3 times (finished twice), and if you’ve got a few hours to kill, ask me about it…
In the Dandenongs, the “one in twenty” (6.8km at ~4%) we could consider cat 2 seeing that we usually ride it after we’ve been already riding for considerable time when we reach it! Devil’s Elbow including One Tree Hill would be Cat 1! Yeah …. OUCH!
If you want something harder again, start at Inverness rd., then the tourist rd., then Ridge rd. to the top (sky high) from the Montrose direction. This is long and hard and relentless and a complete pr—k really! There is also “The Wall” but I’m digressing.
As we are approaching winter you will start to become familiar with these names, especially the “one in twenty” which goes from the Basin up to Sassafras. It is called the one in twenty cause a lot of it is around 5% …… i.e. it goes up 1 for every 20 ….. and there is that cyclist imagination again! The Devil’s Elbow on the other hand goes up from the start of the Tourist rd at the Ferntree Gully end and has a big hairpin bend called the Devils Élbow! Hence the name of this climb. Now I don’t really know why this is so, and not sure if the devil has an elbow, or what shape it might be if she has 🙂 I also have no idea why One Tree Hill is so named, cause on the many times I have ridden there, there has always been more than one tree! Quite a lot more in fact!
Anyway….For those of you who haven’t known me for long here are a few tips…
- Don’t ask what my bike is made of!
- In fact don’t mention my bike at all!
- Don’t tell me you’ve been “riding indoors”!
- Or even mention the word Zwift!
- Mordialloc is sacred ground! I occasionally stop there, don’t question this!
- My stats here (at Mordi) (and those that are with me..they know who they are will attest to this) are more important to me than power, speed, HR etc.. true
- Old Forest rd. is out of bounds.
- I’m a lot happier than I used to be. true… I think….hard to tell though
- I will occasionally relate stories of some of my races if you are riding next to me. They are riveting! Especially the Melbourne to Ballarat one!
- They are also sacred!
- Swimming is overrated
- There’s a great cafe in Clarinda (ask TSC)
- And Ormond (ask the LCC or General as he likes to be known)
There are of course lots more things that get under my chlorine irritated winter skin, but that’s enough for now otherwise you might think I’m a bit on the grumpy side!
I had to rush this fearing pressure from TSC, and we all know who that is! Oh, I forgot the bees, maybe next time, they are my favourite you know! Congratulations if you made it this far, and of course now have the urge to search for the previous episodes.
Oh yeah in the title “G Files” the G stands for…
Great
Gary
Gregarious
Grumpy
Gaz
I’ll leave it to you to work that out!��
CG
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