It was a month ago now that Ollie told me it was time to slow down and take time off. The Elwood race at the start of Feb was the last qualifying race for me and after a busy few months of racing, I was tired. It’s taken me nearly that whole month to come to terms with the thought of backing off training. I don’t know if other people struggle with this as much as I do? Is it my ‘triathlon’ personality? Am I too reliant on the endorphins? Is it that the routine of training is hard to break? I like to think of it like running on a treadmill (of course I need a training related analogy!!), if you hit ‘STOP’ it’s so abrupt that you basically fall off, right?? But if you slowly decrease the pace, the treadmill slows gradually and you avoid falling off completely.
I trust the coaches one hundred percent, I know the importance of rest and recovery, I’ve read the research, I’ve learnt the stats, I know it’s a good opportunity to reset and make sure there’s a bit of triathlon/life balance…I know all of this and yet, I still find it so difficult! At the start, I kept going to sessions and tried to keep up but my body and my mind were just saying ‘No, thanks!’. I could keep up, I could do what others were doing but I just didn’t want to! I’m not looking for sympathy and I’m not saying poor me, I consider myself so fortunate and lucky to be in the position I am in and doing what I am doing. It’s a privilege, I love it and it makes me very happy – I wouldn’t be doing it otherwise. It’s a good problem to have, and even more so now that I’ve finally come to terms with it, I’ve fully embraced it and it feels great!
A few conversations changed things for me. The first one was hearing from someone else that they had felt the same at some point. I get so much reassurance from knowing that how I’m feeling is completely normal. It’s so easy to get caught up overthinking things and thinking you’re the only one that feels, or has ever felt, that way. Having someone who you can talk to, who understands how you are feeling and can reassure you that it’s nothing to stress about is absolutely priceless!
The second conversation was a reminder by our very own Ed-bassador, I think we all know how much he loves and appreciates the sky…the clouds…the trees…living in the moment! One Wednesday morning, a couple of weeks ago, the sky was absolutely on fire as the sun rose over us swimming in the outdoor pool at MSAC. As I breathed to the side towards the sun, it suddenly dawned on me (pun intended) that there are so many sessions where we are treated to incredible sunrises, sunsets, clouds…not to mention wonderful people! And I rarely get a chance to stop and fully appreciate it. I’m pretty sure Weeksey would normally tear his hair out…oh wait…if I stopped mid-way through a swim set to photograph the sunrise. But I’ve decided that my goal for my month of recovery is to be social, to have fun, and make the most of the opportunity of training without the pressure of hitting times or paces. I can stop and take photos if I want to, chat to someone new or get to know someone better.
So now, I don’t get out of bed if I don’t want to (I mean I do at SOME point, just not at 5am if I don’t feel like it!), I sleep in when I want to (and I am finally actually sleeping in!), I take photos, I appreciate the sunrise and the sunset, I appreciate the people I am surrounded by at training, I eat ice cream, I have a glass of wine, I swim at my own pace, I run as far (or not so) as I like, I ride for the fun of it…and most of all, I don’t feel guilty about anything and I’m so happy.
It’s so good in fact that I’m starting to panic, wondering if I will ever feel like training ‘hard’ or ‘fast’ again? Am I ever going to give up photos of the sunrise to swim the full set? Watch this space!!
